Wednesday, March 2, 2011

31 Day Photo & Prompt Challenge Day 4

**Linking up with It's Gravy Baby's 31 Day Photo & Prompt Challenge**

Day 4 - An experience that made me who I am today

Well like most of the mother's in the world, giving birth to my children were life altering events. For the better, if I do say so myself. That's not the first thing I think of when I think of the biggest experience in life that made me the person I am today.

My brothers and I spent our childhood bouncing from place to place, never really having anything of our own. We lived with various family members, while my Mom did whatever she did. Well, I know what she did, she ran the streets. You see she was so far into the horrible depths of a drug and alcohol addiction that she didn't have the strength to drag herself up, and take the proper care of her kids that she should. Sometimes I wouldn't see her for weeks. Sometimes I would live with her. Sometimes it was "her" apartment. It was always clean, and most of the time we had food. It was never safe. It was never home. I never enjoyed being there, I existed. I took summer school to get away from it all. I stayed with friends as much as possible. I loved school days. They were like freedom for me.

One afternoon I came home from school, and she started her verbal assault on me. It lead to a physical assault, and I suddenly realized that I didn't have to stand there and take it. I don't know why or what came over me at that moment, but I felt stronger than I ever had. I told her what I thought of her "parenting", I told her that I was leaving. She threatened to call the cops, I screamed, I didn't care, heck I wanted them to come. Right then I decided that if I was ever going to make, ever going to get out of the ever widening ravine that she was digging for me I was going to have to do it myself. Once she could see that I wasn't going to bow to her hard hand or harsh words, she told me to leave. She demanded that I get out. I couldn't even allow myself to feel anything. I always knew that one day it would come to this, it was only a matter of time.

I left. I packed my stuff into a back pack, a bag and a pillow case. Everything I owned I could carry. I walked out and didn't look back. I hated the sight of that place. I hated the sound, the smell, the very feeling that you got being near it.

I LOVED the feeling I felt walking away. Like I was shedding the baggage of a thousand men. It fell from my shoulders with ease, and I loved every single step into the future that I took. I think back to being 15 years old and moving out into the real world, alone. On my own, with no help from my parents. I had to lie to get a job. I lied about a lot of things so I could keep afloat. Looking back I know that it was the right thing - for me. Not for everyone.

It was hard. It made me appreciate all of the things I worked so hard to earn. It was a struggle. Plenty of times I wanted to give up. It forced me to be strong. Stronger than I ever thought I could be. It made me who I am today.


  1. Wow. What a courageous day that shaped your life!
    Good for you!

  2. wow! I came from a not-so-great home and thought many times of leaving. I even had places I could have gone, but I never had the courage. It's so awesome that you had that strength inside yourself!

  3. What a story! I am so happy it turned out well for you.

  4. Wow, what a brave move on your part. I'm so happy you were able to take that step and move toward a better life.

  5. Thank you everyone! I'm also happy to add that my Mom is now going on her 5th year of sobriety and is a fantastic grandma to my girls. :)

  6. Wow that is terrible. It is amazing how each one of us has to walk through the fire. We don't get to pick the fire but we decide who will be in it and how to come out of it. Amazing story. Thank you for sharing.